You’re wrong. I am just a bad person. Please stop thinking there’s something in me worth saving. I won’t change. You can’t fix me. I’m not broken, I’m just careless. I fucked around every time I went to New York. Hell, I fucked around right at home. For some reason you’re the constant. I come back to you, continuously. You let me. Normally I’d find that utterly pathetic and call you insane to everyone who asks me about you, but I don’t think that. Whatever the case, I guess you could say that, in a way, for some reason or another, I consider your feelings toward me over other girls feelings toward me. So please stop, because I can’t love you back. Please stop, because you’re the nicest, most caring person I’ve ever met and I don’t want to ruin that. Please stop, because I can’t and this cycle will continue if you don’t start ignoring my calls. Please stop, because my words don’t mean what you think they do. Get me to get over you by getting over me.
I feel like a rubik’s cube. You spent so long trying to figure me out. It was frustrating and time consuming. You had all the patience to make it work.
You fixed me. You figured me out. You felt a sense of accomplishment.
But nobody wants anything to do with the rubik’s cube after they figure it out.
I’m sick of finding strands of your hair on my pillows and in my shower. Some of your clothes still occupy space in my drawer. That picture is somewhere in my glove compartment. Your shitty music infested my iTunes library. The collage you never finished is still in my closet. Last semester’s texts are scattered in the back of my car. Your ring hasn’t moved from where you left it before you walked out.
You want to come collect your shit before I throw it out? I hate being reminded of your existence.
Is it normal for your ex to go on a date with one of your best friends? Is it normal for your best friend to think he could ask your ex on a date?
I’m having a hard time understanding this.
If I’m still weighed down with subtleties then I’ll just come right out and say that I think that I deserve her more than anyone deserves anything. Maybe I am selfish, but there is no way to share this. There’s not enough to go around. I don’t care who else gets hurt.
You’re always looking for something
To sniff, smoke, or swallow
Calling over next door to see what they got
But you would settle for anything
That would make your brain slow down or stop
Break this circle of thoughts you chase
Before they catch back up with you
And your parents noticed your thinning face,
All the weight you lost
All the weight you are losing
You said, “I’m done feeling like a skeleton
No more sleep walking dead”